Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Day Two; Skepticism

Well, I haven't managed to get hold of an advent calender yet! Missed my Dec 1st morning guessing game! It's ok though, I shall get one on the way home, it's fine... panic averted.

So, am still pretty sceptical about the hoodia, as I'm getting hunger pangs and it's still an hour til lunch. Though only had a bowl of soup, a bread roll, a chocolate hob nob and a salad (lettuce and grated carrot) to eat yesterday, so i think its working by not removing the hunger, but taking the edge off so I'm not ravenous, and also when i do eat, I'm full on less. Just realised I didn't weigh myself yesterday, so I will have no idea if it's working or not. Though part of that might be fear to get on the scales in case I'm so obese I get disheartened and eat a whole pizza out of 'what's-the-point' ness.

My best chum is coming over tonight, and we are continuing with our current evening activity of watching cheesy creature feature films. We have taken a break from our 'Work Our Way Through Johnny Depp's Back Catalogue' mission, mainly because we can't find any of his films that are really cheap (with good reason) but we don't want to spend ten quid on a film if we are going to only watch it once (especially for films like Chocolat and Before Night Falls, where he is in it for about ten seconds, despite his name being on the box!). There are films that I only watched because he was in it, like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, but I got drunk and fell asleep while watching it, and it was the most confusing film I've ever seen, but I'm not going to watch it again just to find out what it was all about.... I was awake when it started, i saw the mad hairstyle, therefore I've seen it godammit! Anyway, I digress. At the moment we are getting through some cheesy creature features, and tonight is the turn of Anaconda 3. It has the added bonus of starring David Hasselhoff, which will be an fantastic treat of naffness! It seems that the Anaconda series has a habit of starring dodgy singers. Anaconda has Jennifer Lopez, Anacondas has Matthew Marsden, and now Anaconda 3 has The Hoff. Don't think 4 has anyone though...shame.

But yeah, we have worked our way through quite a pile of crappy creature films! My favourite so far has to be Shark Attack 3; Megalodon, mainly because of the crap dialogue, John Barrowman's cheesy gayness and this clip;


We have also seen Frogs, which is the most ridiculous film ever made. For a start, the frogs were the least menacing creatures in the world, but also, they never actually kill anyone. Someone dies from shooting himself in the leg and then gets crawled on by tarantulas, next person dies because lizards push jars of unconvincing smoking poison off the shelves in a greenhouse, the next one dies after chasing a butterfly, falling in a pool of leeches and then gets bitten by a rattlesnake, next one gets eaten by a crocodile, next one gets bitten by a watersnake and drowns in a comedy way, next one gets killed by a snapping turtle, some others are pecked by birds and then the last person has a heart attack and then some frogs come and sit on his corpse. Wondrous.

Next on the list are Anaconda 3 and 4, Piranha, Komodo and if we can find them, Attack of the Sabretooth:

and Night of the Lepus

Bunnies? We need to know how bunnies are scary!! I mean, they can give you a pretty nasty kick, and of course there is the rabbit from the Holy Grail, but come on! Me and my pal think we could make a pretty awesome creature feature... look at what we have come up with so far...

Revenge of the Sea Sponge
Return of the Dead Leaves
Attack of the Yellow Dusters
Caterpillar VS. Ladybird
Day of the Ducks followed by the sequel, Night of the Owl
Killer Slippery Floor
The Mooing
When Doorknobs Go Bad
Land of the Snail

and my two favourites -
Pigeon Apocolypse

Watch out for us at your local cinema. We are going to be huge.


Stinkypaw said...

Sorry I started drooling over my keyboard and coudln't make out what was written after I read hob nob...

Marius said...

LOL! I was going to recommend Night of the Lepus before I scrolled down to see it on your list already. I saw it years and years ago and it is so laughably bad I can't wait to hear your opinion of the 'special effects'.

And I'd watch Caterpiller VS. Ladybird. :-D

Purple Pigeon said...

Stinkypaw - I know, They are a constant presence in my house and it's a major achievement that i just had the one!

Marius - Fantastic! Glad to hear it is as horrendously bad as i had hoped!
I think for CvL we could use the Very Hungry Caterpillar