Tuesday, 7 July 2009

Epic Sunday

Best day ever on Sunday! I've been quite shoddy with my posting, but I'll rectify that here and now!

So anyway, Sunday.

Last Tuesday, when we were being barked at for using mobile phones during the quiz (fascists), one of my friends mentioned about her hayfever, so i suggested going to a little place near where we live to get some hayfever pollen tablets. Its a place that had its own bee hives and so makes honey, hayfever pollen capsules and many other bee related things. I wanted also to see if they would be interested in buying any of my bee jewellery. I also said ''hey, we could then go for a picnic in Chatsworth!'' (massive stately home nearby, with huge grounds with a river and deer), so the plan was set, and we continued to get drunk and shouted at for getting text messages.

Come Sunday, i picked everyone up in my teeny Micra (Frank) and headed off to the Bee place. We thought it would be quite a biggish tourist thing, as it is well promoted and well known. But we nearly drove past the entrance, and then when we went in, we were sure it was just someone's house. Turned out that it was owned by an eccentric middle aged woman, with make-up like Barbara Cartland (big blue eyeshadow and big red lipstick), who ''didn't need the money, it's all donated to charity, this is my passion''. We walked about ten metres down the garden, where she told us that we couldn't go any further because the bees were being ''fussy madams'' and that she had been stung over one hundred times on her face yesterday. To be honest, I thought she was fibbing as I'm sure if this was true, she'd have a big bulbous swelled up head, and this wasn't the case. We then went into the bee shop, which was basically a little shed with shelves and shelves of bees related products.

Such as;

Jars of pollen collected off the bees legs, which according to Babs you can live on with nothing else in your diet, and there's an experiment somewhere with rats where the seventh generation of rats were living on only pollen....

A jar of giant hornet honey with a giant, two inch long hornet in it, where the ingredients were listed as ''Giant Hornet Honey; Giant Hornet''

Hayfever pills which you have to take about five of every morning from March to get the full effect

An antibacterial spray that she has sold to Virgin Airlines to spray around the cabins to stop passengers getting TB

plus soaps, candles, bee related tat, honey of many kinds and various ointments. To say we weren't there very long, it was a very rich visit as she was quite clearly a little bit bonkers. Many quoteable lines were taken from that visit, like ''The middle of the ambulance was shitted up!'' and ''You can't take everything, or else they will die!''. A class visit.

Then we poddled off, fully educated about the importance of bees, and went to Chatsworth for our picnic. I rather overbought on food, and only ate about a third of it, but I always say that its better that way than have not enough! It was very pleasant, we had a tartan cloth to sit on, and at one point, a woman walked past with a spaniel puppy that was teeny tiny! Soooo cute! I stole a cuddle and suggested swapping it for a bread roll, which was about the same size, but the woman said that that wouldn't be a very good deal, especially if you weren't hungry. Fair play.

We then went for a paddle in the river, and started feeding some ducks, and before long, they were clambering over my feet and taking the bread straight out of my hand. Good job i did over buy on the bread, otherwise we wouldn't have had the fun of feeding the v cute ducks!

Nom nom nom....

After much fun and larks, we headed back home, and later went to the pub for the Sunday quiz. Strangely, cuz we don't normally go on a Sunday, he didn't have his usual rant about mobile phones. We still didn't win. But much merriment was had. After that we went to the newly built playground in the park next to the pub, and had lots of fun drunkenly trying out the new toys, such as the birthing see-saw...
the sex swing.....
and the basket swing.
And they had a zip line, which is so much better when there isn't a massive queue to wait for one poxy go! When I'm grown up, I'm going to get a massively long one, and it will be amazing!! I can't possibly have children. I'm planning on having a garden full of swings and what-have-you all for me!

So yeah, it was a tremendous day. I wish every day was that much fun!

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