I don't remember how it started, but the first thing i remember was sitting in the middle of a field, messing about with very cartoonish looking worms and caterpillars. Then, a perfectly round piece of turf starts to lift up, and an albino mole that looks uncannily like a white guinea pig pokes his head out. I tempt it out with the cartoony worms and moles. Then some chav boys appear, and start making a ruckus. I talk to them, and tell them to shut up, and gesture to the albino mole that is eating the bugs, but it gets scared and runs back down its hole. The next thing I know, I'm on Wisteria Lane, and Edie is in the process of being turned into a vampire. Understandably, she's not happy about it, so we hide in a random house. The random vampire converter appears in the house, and while Edie is struggling to unlock the back door, I distract the bloke (that turns out to be Carl) by saying that he is stood on my toe, and I'm only in my socks, so would he mind not doing? He seems quite apologetic, so we run out and leap off a balcony and get into a van and drive off. Out of nowhere, Carl appears to have acquired a van and is chasing us. At this point it gets a bit odder. Edie kept changing from her into the albino mole and into a yorkshire terrier, and when I went round a corner a bit fast (around some temporary traffic lights.... bloody road works) and rolled the van into a field, I went ''I think I'll do that again'' and re-wound the dream and slowed down enough to make it round the corner. Just before i woke up, I was alternately on foot and in the van, and just as i woke up, i had scooped up the yorkshire terrier and leapt into a roadworks van, telling the driver that he had to help me, but he wasn't having any of it.
Would i have escaped? Can you rewind car crashes? What is the albino mole all about? We will never know, because my mother cruelly woke me up for work by yelling my name. Boo.
Anyway, just done the Radio 2 Pop Master quiz, so now I've got nothing to do til dinner except work, then I've got hours of boredom before i can go home at 6. Obviously there's internet surfage, and listening to the overly cheery birds and the builders outside, but that's not really the fun I look for in an average day.
Though am supposed to be going rollerblading and to the pub to do the quiz tonight with my chum, so that's something.
Saw a pretty fat pigeon on my shed today. That is all. Thankyouplease.
Oh my god, i was cruising Google Images for a pic of a white guinea pig, and i found this!!
I knew they ate guinea pigs, but the least they could do was butcher them properly! This looks like deep fried road kill! Poor thing, didn't even take off its feet and head. Nasty. Surely they could make it look a bit more appetising, instead of just plonking it on a plate with two taters. Madness. Imagine if we did that with a cow! ''Here's the Sunday Roast, darling, a deep fried whole cow with two pumpkins on the side.''
I'm sure you could have guinea pig nuggets, or guinea pig strips, or stir fried guinea pig... not just a whole guinea pig. Weirdos.